The Marauders
by Juniper James
Summary: MWPP stands for Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. It's the humorous adventures behind the boys who would be the MARAUDERS
1. Banana Bread

The Mini-Adventures of  
THE MARAUDERS  
Starring: MWPP  
  
#1  
(*) The Banana Bread (*)  
  
It was lights out at Hogwarts.  
  
"Grr! Argh! Son-of-a! Why won't you! I hate you! I Hate You! I HATE YOU!!"  
  
James Potter chose that very moment to kick the stubborn trunk that was refusing him entrance. as a result, from the force and his previous attempts, the trunk flew open, flinging its contents all over the room.  
  
Gryffindor Tower, 1st year boy's dorm, 1:42 am  
  
"I hate that stupid trunk." James muttered, picking up the dispersed socks and underwear.  
  
Sirius Black, James' new best friend, was doubled up laughing on the floor.  
  
"Shaddup!" James growled and smacked him in the back of the head.  
  
Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were snickering from where they were seated on the bed nearest them.  
  
After all his possessions were placed back in the trunk, James lifted his very rare invisibility cloak from the floor.  
  
"Well, here it is, brand new," James grinned proudly. "My pride and joy."  
  
There were oohs and ahhs and James slipped it over his head. Instantly he disappeared from view.  
  
"Awesome!" Sirius said and jumped up.  
  
James kicked him the back of the knee.  
  
Sirius twirled around. there was no one there.  
  
"James! Let me try it!" Sirius said, his voice in awe, despite his aching knee.  
  
Sirius stared around the room, looking for a sign that James was near.  
  
Sirius then began to walk around the room, his arms out in front of him, searching. "James, where are you?"  
  
They could hear James laugh and a swirl of robes.  
  
Then Remus disappeared too, obviously being pulled under the cloak as well.  
  
"Ack!" Peter cried and fell off the bed. "Where'd he go?"  
  
James then threw off the cloak, revealing a snickering Potter and grinning Remus.  
  
"So," James said holding it up with one finger, "What to do."  
  
"Are you kidding?" Sirius asked, eyes wide. "We could do anything we want!"  
  
James smirked. "But Sirius Black!" He said in mock disgust. "That would be breaking the rules!"  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. He hadn't known the others for more than two weeks, but their lack of respect for authority was apparent.  
  
They were quiet for a moment.  
  
Then there it was. it was very quiet. a whisper, no more. "banana bread."  
  
Remus, James, and Sirius turned their heads to look at him.  
  
"What'd you say?" James asked, staring at the smaller boy from the other side of the bed.  
  
Peter made a small squeak, "Nothing."  
  
"No, what did you say?" Sirius asked again, inching closer to him.  
  
Peter obviously was more than a little nervous.  
  
"I said, banana bread. the kitchen's supposedly making banana bread tonight. for tomorrow."  
  
There was silence.  
  
"Yes," Remus said then. "I've over heard some people talking about that."  
  
Then there was more silence.  
And more.  
  
Then. "Yes!" James jumped off the bed to center himself before his friends.  
  
Sirius got up too agreeing, "Banana Bread!"  
  
"Let's sneak into the kitchen and get the banana bread!" James was very clearly excited about this idea.  
  
"Alight," Sirius said, rubbing his hands together. "So who'll go? Will your cloak fit all of us?"  
  
James looked doubtfully at the other three boys. "I don't know."  
  
"Well we don't all need to go." Remus said.  
  
"Are you volunteering to stay behind?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Sure," Remus shrugged.  
  
"Ok great," Sirius replied and turned back to James who was studying his cloak.  
  
"I'll stay too." Peter said then, always eager to please.  
  
Sirius grinned. "It's settled then," He said, puffing out his chest proudly. "James and I will go down to the kitchen and steal the banana bread, we'll bring it back here and we'll all eat it!"  
  
Peter smiled happily and Remus nodded.  
  
"Oh," James said suddenly. "One small problem, Black."  
  
Sirius frowned, "What?"  
  
"Where's the kitchen?"  
  
Sirius blinked, "I don't know."  
  
"Oh," Remus spoke up then. "Its down the second set of stairs leading towards the dungeons and to the left, then there's an empty classroom, that's a short cut, go through there and then made a right turn and then go to your second left and then down two more flights, make sure you don't miss the third turn and then through a doorway where there's a painting of a---"  
  
"Whoa," Sirius held up his hands to stop him. "You're going to fast Remus, slow down."  
  
Remus sighed, "Alright. Are you listening?"  
  
James and Sirius nodded.  
  
"Ok, down the second flight of stairs leading to the dungeons."  
  
"The one that leads to the potions class?" Sirius asked.  
  
"No, the one that hardly anyone uses."  
  
"The one with the picture of the ugly witch in the cup?"  
  
"Yes, that one. Then you turn left, where there is an empty classroom."  
  
"An empty-empty one? Like no tables?" James asked.  
  
"Yes-well, there's a few cushions on the ground. I don't know why. but you go through-"  
  
"Wait," James stopped him again. "Which classroom?"  
  
"The one just left of the stairs you'll be descending."  
  
"Straight left? It'll be right there?"  
  
"Well maybe it's a little more down the hall then just straight left. but it's the first door on the left you'll come across."  
  
"Of the stairs of the second flight that nobody uses near the picture of the ugly witch in the cup?"  
  
"Right. Then behind the desk in the classroom."  
  
"Wait, you said there were no desks." Sirius said.  
  
Remus frowned, "Well there's no 'tables' there's a big desk at the front. There's a doorway behind there and that's where you go."  
  
"Which side is the desk on."  
  
"Um. when you enter the classroom, walk right, the doorways that way. Make a right turn and then take the second left-"  
  
"Left, as in as soon as you walk into the doorway."  
  
"Yes. no-wait. uh. yes. Then you walk to your second left."  
  
"Second left? Is it another class-"  
  
"Geez! Remus, you just come with us." Sirius said finally, they obviously weren't going to get there by themselves.  
  
Remus sighed, "Very well."  
  
"What about Peter?" James asked.  
  
"What?" Sirius replied.  
  
"Well it was his idea, he should get to come too."  
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Fine, we'll all go."  
  
"Ok," James said and motioned them all forward. "Here's the plan."  
  
~*~*~*~*  
  
It was a tight fit but somehow they all managed to conceal themselves under James' cloak.  
Occasionally a foot or a hand would show, but it was a mistake quickly corrected. Thank Merlin they were only 11.  
  
"Watch out for Filch and his damn cat." Sirius whispered.  
  
They had all met the grizzly caretaker in their first week of school. he didn't like them and they disliked him equally.  
  
They moved slowly, but Remus directed them through the many passages and hallways and it made the others wonder just how Remus knew all this, but they kept their questions to themselves. They respected each other's privacy.  
  
Finally they reached the doorway, Remus had told them about before.  
  
"How do you know all this?" Peter asked.  
  
"Uh." Remus stuttered, he couldn't tell them how he really knew. "Um... I ask a lot of questions."  
  
They got to a picture of a bowl of fruit and Remus stretched a hand out and tickled the pear. The pear, to their amazement, turned into a handle.  
  
Remus grasped it and opened the door.  
  
They entered and were surprised to see so many house elves in one place at the same time.  
  
James threw of the cloak and the house elves jumped in surprise.  
  
"Do you need something?" An elderly house elf asked.  
  
James blinked; he really hadn't been expecting any one to be here at this time of night. he wasn't prepared for the question.  
  
"Uh.. Well. actually.. We were just."  
  
"We're hungry," Remus said, quite casually. "We heard you were making banana bread."  
  
Almost immediately they were bombarded on all sides by house elves bearing food.  
  
Soon they were loaded with everything they had wanted and more: chocolate, toast, strawberries and other fruit, some carrots, [that someone had suggested they eat something healthy.] cake, cookies, spaghetti, lasagna, hamburgers, shrimp, hotdogs and of course, the banana bread. [1]  
  
"Are we really going to carry all of this back up to the dorms?" Sirius asked, trying to balance a bag of cookies and a plate of cake on one arm.  
  
"Sure." James said merrily, accepting some more chocolate from the kind house elves.  
  
Soon they had to stop accepting the glorious free food and start to plan their way back  
  
"Alright, let's go." Sirius whispered loudly and thanking the kind house elves, they made their way to the door, there they all squeezed themselves and the food under the cloak and exited the kitchen.  
  
They very slowly made their way back toward Gryffindor Tower. Careful not to slip up or drop something.  
  
"Ouch, Remus you stepped on my toe!" James cried.  
  
"It wasn't me." Remus replied.  
  
"Sorry." Sirius muttered.  
  
"Keep your voices down." Remus whispered.  
  
There was a crinkling sound, like the sound of someone opening a bag and then, "Peter, are you eating?" James hissed, "You'll get my cloak all dirty!"  
  
"Shorri." Peter replied, with his mouth full.  
"This plate is hot," Sirius whined. "It's going to sear my flesh off."  
"Shuddap," James said harshly. "I think I hear something."  
  
They were all silent and Peter let out a small, 'epp!'.  
  
They stood still for a moment, listening. waiting.  
  
Then there was a loud "MEEOWRR!"  
Followed by four, "AHHHHHH!!!" s  
Ms. Norris frightened the boys and as a result, their 'hard-earned' precious, food, spilt all around them. The chocolate chips that Peter was eating were spilt all over the floor and the lasagna and spaghetti were splattered all over the floor as well, and the various other food products had a similar story.  
  
"Fucking Cat!" Sirius swore, as they looked at the mess around them, it looked as if there had been an explosion. which was sort of true.  
  
Then they heard what they dreaded most of all. "Ms. Norris, my sweet. are you there? Caught students wandering around at night, have you?"  
  
"HE'S COMING!" The boys, quick as a flash, hurried to gather the fallen food up off the floor. Which was NOT an easy task, considering all the broken glass of plates, and the splatterings of food.  
  
They attempted to scoop and sweep all of the food until the cloak, "No! You guys don't!" "James! We don't have time to argue!" "Awww!"  
  
But in the end, James knew they were right. but Filch was coming and there was still splat on the ground and spaghetti sauce and such, there was no way they were getting out of this one.  
  
Then James saw it. the banana bread, sitting on the ground, seemingly unharmed by its fall and the trampling of the boys trying to hide their guilt.  
  
He dashed towards it, swept it up into his arms and pulled the cloak up from the floor, once again revealing the tragic demise of good food.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" Sirius asked, eyes wide. "He's right around the corner!"  
  
"RUN!" James hollered and ran down the corridor like there was no tomorrow, which there probably wouldn't be, if they were caught.  
  
Having no time to think and nowhere to hide, the others followed suit. Busting their legs to get out of sight before the nasty caretaker made his way around the corner.  
  
This was number one at the top of James' and most certainly the other three's 'scariest moment of my life' category.  
  
It was like something out of a nightmare or horror movie.  
  
"Who's there??!" Filch cried after them and they could hear him running after them.  
  
"Quick!" James cried and stopped running. "Under the cloak!" He threw the cloak over his own head and pulled the others under as well.  
  
They stood, huddled under the cloak, inching their way towards the side of the hall.  
  
Filch came running up the hall. and stopped short. a big bump of black cloak in the middle of the hall. slowly moving towards a classroom door.  
  
"What the hell are you kids doing?" He asked, these kids get loonier and loonier!  
  
"What? You can't see us!" Sirius cried. "We're invisible!"  
  
Filch's eyebrow arched, "What the bloody 'ell are you talking about?"  
  
"Sirius! I told you your feet were too big!"  
  
"I told YOU that we wouldn't all fit!"  
  
"Um. guys?" Remus' voice grew over the commotion.  
  
"What?" They replied in unison.  
"Um. I think we've got the wrong cloak." He said quietly.  
  
James felt the outside of the cloak. it still felt like a cloak. but.  
  
Before they had left, Sirius had opted to bring his own cloak as well, even if it wasn't invisible. "It adds character!" Sirius had argued.  
  
"We are in so much trouble." Peter moaned quietly.  
  
One by one the 'marauders' trudged out from under the cloak.  
"Well at least we still have the banana bread." James whispered to his friends, when he was the last one to leave the not-so-invisible cloak.  
  
"Right. we do." Sirius whispered back and winked.  
  
James grinned. they knew what they had to do.  
  
"Oh no." Peter said, looking horrified.  
  
Remus just shook his head.  
  
"RUN!" James cried and the four of them dashed away, the vile and livid caretaker right behind them.  
"Catch!" James cried and flung the bread at Sirius, Sirius caught it and tossed it to Remus, Remus sighed and threw it back at James, who threw it in turn to Peter.  
  
..who dropped it.  
  
They stopped.. The bread!  
  
"Peter! You git!" Sirius groaned, and Filch caught up to them.  
  
"YOU BOYS!" Filch growled, his face was red and full of veins.  
  
"Aw man." James groaned..  
  
"Oh dear.." Remus sighed.  
  
"I'm sorry!" Peter cried.  
  
"Shit." Sirius growled.  
  
**THE NEXT NIGHT**  
  
"Well at least we didn't get expelled." Sirius said, washing the dish James handed to him.  
  
"True." James replied handed him another dish.  
  
"That was actually quite exhilarating." Remus added, rinsing the dish Sirius gave to him.  
"Let's do it again?" James asked with a grin.  
  
Remus and Sirius just grinned and shook their heads. he would never learn.  
  
"Oh no." Peter said quietly, drying the dishes. "So. much trouble."  
  
[1] I know, you're probably wondering, 'what the hell?'. Well, I was sitting in a crowded library and I asked the people sitting around me to pick a food.so they did. 


	2. Choir Class

The Mini-Adventures of  
THE MARAUDERS  
Starring: MWPP  
  
#2  
(*) Choir Class (*)  
  
J: Moony! Come help me write another chapter!  
  
R: No! Stay away! I'm watching Yami no Matsuei!  
  
J: Come on! I need inspiration! What better inspiration is there than a hyped up werewolf?  
  
R: I am NOT, hyped up.  
  
J: What some chocolate?  
  
R: *pounce*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (*) Choir Class(*)  
  
It wasn't really a real class; just a sort of fun one. that was worth marks. but it was required.  
So that's what they did.  
  
"Well I think this is stupid," Sirius growled. "They should just let us do whatever we want."  
  
"Then the school would probably get blown up," James smirked. "Come on, it's not so bad. We go twice a week and just sing. How hard can that be?"  
  
Famous last words.  
  
"Ok class, we'll be practicing the song 'Memory'. Please open your music and sing along with the piano." Professor Snowb, the choral teacher said. She banged her composer's wand on the side of a podium and they all stood.  
  
As they opened their music, they soon came to realize, that they couldn't read a single note of music.  
  
"How are we supposed to know this?" James whispered to Sirius, who was standing beside him.  
"I don't know, I guess she's just assuming we've been in this sort of thing before."  
  
"You! In the back!" Professor Snowb hollered. "Quiet!"  
  
James and Sirius glanced at each other but did as she bid.  
  
By the end of the lesson, it was safe to say that the four boys had a new less than favorite teacher.  
  
***  
  
"That was the biggest waste of time ever!" Sirius growled, kicking the leg of his bed.  
  
"I thought it was kind of fun." James shrugged, finishing his Potions homework.  
  
Sirius frowned, "What? She said you sing like a dieing cat!"  
  
James smirked, "So?"  
  
Sirius sighed and shook his head. "I say we don't go to the next one."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Do you wanna go back in there and sing for a bitchy old woman again?"  
  
"Of course not. but who said anything about singing?" James smiled. the one that you can just tell he had an idea. and someone's not going to like it. namely. the teacher.  
  
***  
  
The next class wasn't any better.  
  
"I think can read the first few notes!" James whispered to his friends.  
  
"Oh really now?" Sirius asked out of the corner of his mouth, trying not to look like he was talking again.  
  
"Yes. you see it goes: Miiiddddnnniiiiggghhhhttt! All allloooonnnnee in the Moooonnnliiighhhtt!"  
  
James failed to notice that everyone else in the class had stopped singing and he'd just sing an embarrassing high pitched, out-of-tune phrase.. But this was James.  
  
"Thank you! Thank you so much!"  
  
The professor was not pleased.  
  
"You over there! And you over there!" She placed Peter at the front on the right side, Sirius in the middle on the left side, James on the right and Remus got to stand just where he was.  
  
The teacher glared at them, then tapping her wand on the podium again, the music started.  
  
"MMMMMMMMMmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddddddnnnnnnnnnigggggghtttttttt!!!!!"  
  
The music stopped.  
  
"Mr. Potter! Will you KINDLY keep your voice DOWN!!"  
  
James smirked, "I'm sorry. That's just the way I was born, Madam."  
  
The class laughed.  
  
The Professor glared at him and started the music.  
  
"NOT A SOUND FROM THE PPPPPPAAAAAVVVVVEEEMENNT!!"  
  
Again the music stopped.  
  
"Mr. Black, this is not an opera house."  
  
"Could have fooled me." Sirius glared.  
  
The Professor, clearly taken aback, gave an overly loud snort and stalked to the other side of the room.  
  
"Now look! You made the Professor leave!" A girl with red hair said and glared at James.  
  
"So?" Sirius replied. "Ms. Snob should learn how to respect her students!"  
  
The redhead was about to reply when James interrupted. "No one asked your opinion anyway."  
  
The redhead narrowed her impossibly deep green eyes.  
  
"Who are you anyway?" James asked.  
  
The girl sniffed. "I'm Lily Evans, I'm in Gryffindor House."  
  
"Really now? So are we" Sirius said. He had to speak loudly since James and Lily were on the other side of the bleachers.  
  
"I know who you are," Lily said. "Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. You four were caught raiding the kitchen and lost our house 100 points!"  
  
"Wow James, we're infamous!" Sirius said, pretending to wave to a huge crowd.  
  
Peter was watching the whole exchange with keen interest and Remus was reading through the music book.  
  
The professor came back then, "All right, no more nonsense or I will have you expelled from this school! Understand?"  
  
Some of the students nodded.  
  
After a pretty much uneventful end of lesson, Professor (If you could call her that) Snowb made an announcement.  
  
"We will be holding a grand concert for the rest of your schoolmates, and so, there will be an audition for the male and female solos."  
  
James and Sirius glanced at each other.  
  
"You," She pointed at James. "Will not audition."  
  
James frowned. "Why not?"  
  
"I want people with 'talent'" And with that, she stormed away.  
  
"That wasn't very nice!" James called after her.  
  
"She's not a very likable person, is she?" Remus said and Sirius patted James on the shoulder.  
  
~~  
  
"That Professor Snowb really makes me tick." James was saying as the four of them say in the Gryffindor Common Room.  
  
"It's ok James, I don't like her either." Peter said, he was doing his Charms homework.  
  
Remus stood up. "Where are you going?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I need to go do something." Remus said and left the dormitories.  
  
Sirius shrugged from where he was lying on the floor reading a magazine.  
  
Ten minutes passed.  
  
"Oh!" Peter exclaimed. "I forgot my notes! Sirius, can I use yours?"  
  
Sirius was still engulfed in his magazine. "What makes you think I took them? Ask Remus."  
  
Peter nodded and headed up to the dorms.  
  
He stopped outside the doors.  
  
Was that --- music?  
  
Peter rushed back down the stairs. "Sirius! James! Come here!"  
  
James shot a look at his best friend.  
  
"Peter, if this is like the time with the invisible horses."  
  
"No! No! Come! It's .. It's Remus."  
  
James and Sirius got to their feet and followed the boy to the dorms.  
  
They stopped outside the doors and listened.  
  
There was music coming from within.  
  
Quietly, they opened the door a crack, they stuck their heads through.  
  
Remus had his back to them.  
  
Remus was singing. and he didn't sound like a dieing cat either!  
  
He was actually quite good. he was more than good. no, no.. he was frickin' sensational!  
  
When the song was done, a burst of applause broke through the room, Remus spun around.  
  
"I didn't know you could sing!" Sirius said, as Peter, James, and he stood straight up.  
  
"Uh-well. I." Remus stammered.  
  
"Are you going to try for the solo?" Peter asked.  
  
Remus looked thoughtful. "Well I was thinking about it-"  
  
"Thinking about it?" James asked, putting an arm around Remus' shoulder. "Lupin, with that voice, you have it made!"  
  
"Well I'm not sure."  
  
"Nonsense!" Sirius said standing in from of him. "Remus, you are going to audition and you are going to win!"  
  
"This isn't a competition, Sirius." Remus said quietly.  
  
"Well then," Sirius said. "May the best man win."  
  
"And you will!" James added.  
  
The Marauders, true to their word, accompanied Remus on his day of the audition. They sat in the bleachers and waited patiently as many other solo singers tried out. Finally, when it was Remus' turn, they all cheered and caused Remus' face to redden.  
  
Remus was obviously the best vocal talent there. No lies! Everyone else couldn't even compare, they were so sure that he would get the part.  
  
"That was actually quite easy." Remus said grinning at his friends after the audition.  
  
"You rocked!" James piped up, strutting in front of their group like he always did.  
  
"Thank you James." Remus said, he was humble person, but even he knew that he really WAS the best one there.  
  
**Three Days Later**  
  
The students of Hogwarts were informed that the selections for choir solos would be posted that morning. as the students crowed around, one thing was made perfectly clear.  
  
"WHAT!!?? HOW THE HELL DID LUCIUS MALFOY GET THE PART?!?!"  
  
"Sirius!" James yelled and clamped a hand over his mouth, dragging him back to their house table.  
  
"But it doesn't make any sense!" Sirius continued. "The Slytherin prat can't even carry a tune!" Sirius slumped down at his spot at the Gryffindor table.  
  
"Geezus, you'd think you were the one who lost to Malfoy." James said, pouring a glass of juice. "Like I've said before," Remus said. "It isn't a competition, Lucius obviously was just a little better than me."  
  
"He was not!" Sirius was about to start up again. "She didn't pick you because she KNEW you were friends with us!"  
  
No one said anything; that could have very well been the case.  
  
"I'm right, aren't I?" Sirius muttered, eating a bit of pancakes  
  
"That's hardly adequate to be accusing a teacher of such a thing." A voice said. Clearing over-hearing their conversation.  
  
"Eavesdropping Evans? I didn't know you'd sink so low." James said to the redheaded girl.  
  
She flicked her hair behind her, "By the show your friend was putting on, people could probably hear you from all the way outside."  
  
"This is none of your business." Sirius glared.  
  
She shook her head, gathering her things to leave. "Not that it's any of your business, but I happened to have made the female solo part, and you four better do well not to mess it up!" And with that, she left.  
  
"I don't like her one bit." Sirius said, stabbing at his food.  
  
When he didn't get an agreement, nor a disagreement he looked up to see James with a misty expression in his eyes. Then, "I HAVE IT!" James practically jumped onto the table. Startling his friends at his sudden outburst.  
  
"Have what?" Sirius asked, righting the egg bowl he'd toppled.  
  
"I have the plan to make Ms. Snob wish she'd be fair!"  
  
~~~~~~Oh this was going to be good.~~~~~~  
  
On the day of the rehearsal people where rushing around backstage, anticipating the moment when they'd stand up on those bleachers and sing to the school.  
  
James made extra sure he rammed his shoulder into Lucius' whenever he got the chance.  
  
Lucius, that smug bastard. If he thought they were going to let him get away with this. he was wrong.  
  
"I would really appreciate it if you told me what it was you're going to do." Remus said, eyeing Sirius and James suspiciously.  
  
"Don't worry about it," James grinned. "All you have to do is sing. Ok? Whatever happens, just sing."  
  
Remus looked extremely doubtful.  
  
"Promise?" Sirius asked.  
  
Remus sighed. "Oh all right." He wasn't what kind of consequences there would be for placing his sanity in the hands on these people.  
  
The moment arrived and all the members of the choir stepped out and up onto the bleachers on stage.  
  
The Professor tapped her wand and the music started.  
  
James and Sirius were on either end of the bleachers and seemed to be mouthing the words.  
  
Peter was in the middle somewhere and he was waiting for a signal from James.  
  
The solo was coming up.  
  
Lily and Lucius were standing on the top most bleacher, in the middle. Waiting for their solos to come.  
  
The first few bars of the solo were played and James and Sirius jumped off the bleachers.  
  
Peter shoved Remus forward, off the bleachers and to the front.  
  
Simultaneously James and Sirius pulled a bolt from the bleachers and the entire choir fell to the ground.  
  
Leaving only Remus standing in the middle and Sirius and James somewhere off to the side.  
  
The solo came.  
  
"Sing dammit!" Sirius hissed at Remus who was still in mild shock at what had just happened.  
  
Remus did.  
  
The music stopped right after that, when the Professor finally got the music spell to stop, which had been 'altered' by Mr. J. Potter and S. Black.  
  
The rest of the program was cancelled.  
  
As the choir students slowly entangled themselves from each other and got to their feet, the rest of the school roared with laughter and applause. Remus really was the best there and he's proved that just then.  
  
Now only the consequences of their actions remained.  
  
"JAMES POTTER!!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO RUIN THIS FOR ME! I'LL KILL YOU!!"  
James winced as a psycho redheaded Gryffindor charged at him.  
  
Oh yeah. and her too. 


	3. Big Red Gum

THE MARAUDERS #3 (*)Big Red Gum (*)  
  
~~~~~~ Try it, I dare you ~J.P. ~~~~~~  
  
James may have been a pureblood, but he was no stranger to the Muggle world.  
  
It was not so un-often that he would bring little interesting things from the Muggle side of  
  
London to show off and show to his friends.  
  
As such, today was just one of those days.  
  
"You see? It's gum."  
  
"Just gum?"  
  
"Well Big Red Gum."  
  
"So it doesn't do anything?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Well, no," James said. "You see, that's the thing about Muggle things. They don't do anything weird, they don't make you throw-up, or bite you when you bite them."  
  
"Then what's the point?" Peter asked, looking warily at the red packet in James palm.  
  
"Don't you ever get tired of not knowing what's going to happen when you eat something?" James asked.  
  
His friends gave him a strange look and he smiled. "Ok, me either. But, you chew it and it tastes good!"  
  
With that said, James handed a piece of gum to each of them.  
  
"It is good." Sirius said.  
  
"It's hot." Remus said.  
  
James grinned. "But it 'can' do something."  
  
They frowned. "I thought, you said it didn't do anything." Sirius said.  
  
"I know what I said." James admitted. "But you need to take in all the factors, everything magic or not, CAN do something."  
  
Remus crossed his arms. "You are a hypocrite."  
  
"I am, aren't I? Anyway, you take the wrapper,"  
  
James took the wrapper from his gum and placed it in his hand, the others did too.  
  
They had to hold onto them slightly because the wind was picking up.  
  
The 'Marauders' had decided to make a big tree by the lake, their meeting place. It was where they always seemed to end up anyway.  
  
"Now what?" Sirius asked, looked at the silver wrapper.  
  
"You lick it." James said and brought his tongue across the silver paper.  
  
"Why?" Remus asked, he was the dignified one, remember?  
  
"Just do it, trust me." James smirked and waited for them all to lick their wrappers.  
  
With that done:  
  
"And do this!" James slapped the silver wrapper, silver side up (since they licked the 'other' 'flavored' side of the wrapper). His saliva held the wrapper to his forehead.  
  
"That is so gross!" Sirius said, staring at his best friend.  
  
"You're insane." Remus said.  
  
"Come on!" James insisted. "It's not going to work if you don't to it."  
  
"What happens?" Peter asked.  
  
"Just do it!" James said, he attacked Sirius and got the silver wrapper on his forehead.  
  
"Geezus." Sirius grumbled and got himself up off the ground.  
  
Now both Sirius and James had the sliver wrappers attached to their foreheads.  
  
"Your turn!" They chimed and moved towards Remus and Peter, Peter immediately stuck the wrapper to his head.  
  
Remus sighed and realizing if he didn't do it himself, someone else would, he followed suit.  
  
"Now what?" They asked and looked at James.  
  
James turned his face to the sun. "We wait."  
  
They waited  
  
And waited  
  
And waited a bit more.  
  
Then. Their foreheads heated up.  
  
A searing heat prickled the skin of their foreheads and it burned.  
  
"I think my brain's melting." Sirius said.  
  
True enough.  
  
"The first person to take the wrapper off loses!" James challenged.  
  
It was burning.  
  
"This is so stupid." Someone muttered.  
  
They stood out there for a long time. it burned and scorched and some of them had to run around in circles to keep themselves from taking off the wrapper (cough coughJamescoughhiccup).  
  
It burned like hot sauce, only on the taste buds of your head. People walked by and gave them looks, others stared, Lily Evans and her friends had walked by and James had almost lost because he was going to take off the wrapper and not look like a complete idiot, but Sirius held his hands.  
  
When they finally got the stupid silver gum wrappers off their heads, they went back to school with big red squares in the middle of their foreheads. the squares didn't come off for weeks.  
  
***)()(*)*)******  
  
P.S.:: AGAIN! I dare you to try it!! ~IT WORKS~ *sadistic grin* ~JP 


	4. Snaperella

THE MARAUDERS #4 (*)Snaperella(*)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was a lazy afternoon, you know the kind, when it's a beautiful day out and the sun is shining and there are people outside that you don't know and they are happily running around playing with their friends, and you are inside. doing homework.  
  
"Oh this sucks!" James said and threw his quill at the wall, which didn't make it far since it was a quill and quill's float.  
  
"Well if you didn't throw that ink bottle at Lucius' head, maybe you wouldn't have gotten fifteen extra inches of homework." Remus replied, from behind the book he was reading, titled: Fantastic Beasts and How They Kill You.  
  
"Well if he didn't flip his hair in my face, I wouldn't have thrown it." James muttered and kicked the table leg.  
  
"Cheer up, James!" Sirius said, patting him on the back. "Why don't you just copy the definitions out of a textbook and we can all get out of this hell hole!"  
  
James glared, "Why didn't I think of that?" He rolled his eyes, "The answers aren't in the textbook."  
  
"Well how are you supposed to get your work done if the answers aren't in the textbook?" Sirius said, flipping through the said book.  
  
"Because the teacher hates me and favors Malfoy." James groaned and whacked his head into the table.  
  
"So what are you supposed to do?" Sirius asked, placing the book back down on the table.  
  
"Apparently, I'm supposed to either go to the library and research the fifty ways to make a potion that will turn you into a toad, or ask somebody."  
  
"Oh well that doesn't sound hard at all." Remus said, still reading his book. He raised his eyebrows, apparently reading something very interesting and read at a faster and more intensifying state.  
  
"Well it is when you've searched the whole Goddamned library and all the books have the same definition." James muttered, his head still in his hands.  
  
"Well ask the Potions' Master." Sirius suggested.  
  
"Oh great!" James said sarcastically. "Because getting my head chewed off more than five times today is just my cup of pumpkin ale."  
  
Sirius frowned, "Alright sorry, ease up on the sarcasm would ya? It's not you."  
  
"Why don't you ask a student?" Remus suggested.  
  
"Like who?" James asked, as far as he knew, no one in their year was so advanced.  
  
"Snape." Remus said and went back to his book.  
  
James eyeballs widened. "Snape?" He repeated appalled.  
  
"Well why not?" Remus asked, "I know you don't like him, but he did get a 173% on the last exam."  
  
"You kidding?" Sirius said, "Wow James, you should ask him."  
  
"You think he'd help me?" James answered.  
  
~~~  
  
Well apparently not. Snape found the whole 'Potter's in trouble and needs my help' thing, extremely amusing and refused to help in any manner.  
  
"What an ungrateful git! I was the one who gave him all the answers to the Transfiguration Exam last Thursday!" James seethed, clenching his fists and looking livid.  
  
"They were the wrong answers, James," Remus reminded him. "And he got detention because you told the teacher he was cheating."  
  
James smiled for a moment at the memory. "Still!" James returned to peeved off mode.  
  
Then suddenly, he grinned.  
  
~~~  
  
James had resorted to making up all the answers for '50 different ways to make a potion that will turn you into a toad'. Only about three of the answers were correct. [For James Potter's 50-potion Turn-Toad essay go to: ] But his mind was preoccupied by the intense urge to get Snape, and get him gooood.  
  
"What about this one?" Sirius asked, holding a book up so that James could see.  
  
"Nah, too bland." James said and they continued looking.  
  
Peter sat in silence at one of the tables, he really should have gone with Remus to dinner, but he didn't want to be left out of anything.  
  
"Look at this one!" James said and showed it to Sirius.  
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow and James said, "Right, we can do better."  
  
For two more hours it seemed that James and Sirius flipped through book after book, looking for the perfect one.  
  
Then at 8:24 pm16 seconds. they found it.  
  
"James, come look at this one!" Sirius exclaimed ripping the magazine out of Peter's hand.  
  
"What?" James asked and poked his head over Sirius' shoulder.  
  
James' eyes widened. "Oohhh."  
  
"What do you figure?" Sirius asked, holding the book at an angle.  
  
"I think with the right readjustments."  
  
".and a little more creativity."  
  
"Yes, yes. this is the one."  
  
~~~  
  
They arrived back at the common room, very pleased with themselves. Their plan was slowly starting to develop. Snape would be sorry that he ever messed with James G. Potter!  
  
~~~  
  
"Come on Remus, please!?" Sirius whined.  
  
"Think of all the things we've done for you!" James added.  
  
Remus crossed his arms, "I can't think of any."  
  
"How about when we got you that solo in choir last month!" Sirius said.  
  
Remus frowned, "We got detention for two whole weeks and had to clean the whole second floor walls with toothbrushes!"  
  
James panicked, "We fixed all the patches in your robes last week!"  
  
"They were all purple by the time you two were finished!"  
  
"We beat Snape up when he was bothering you that time!" Sirius chimed.  
  
"He was asking me about something in homework and you two attacked him for no reason!"  
  
Sirius and James ginned at each other for a moment and then returned to be serious. "We'll do whatever you want for a week! Promise!" Sirius said.  
  
"Yeah-we'll.wait, NO!" James said, he'd been tricked into those kind of promises before. they never ended well.  
  
Remus seemed to consider this.  
  
"Sirius, a word PLEASE." James said and grabbed his best friend by the collar of his shirt and hauled him a little ways from their friend who was no doubt thinking of all the things he could make them do.  
  
"We can't promise that!" James hissed.  
  
Sirius frowned, "Why not? What's he going to make us do? Eat frogs?"  
  
"Well why not!?"  
  
"Because this is Remus Lupin we're talking about, no way he'd do something like that!"  
  
James thought about this, maybe they did get the better half of it.  
  
"Well-"  
  
"Come on, James, the worst that'll happen is he'll make us carry all his books or something."  
  
"Well. okay. fine."  
  
The mischievous duo make their way back over to their friend who had been considering their offer.  
  
"Well?" James prompted.  
  
Remus smiled, "Well what?"  
  
"If you tell us the spell, we'll do whatever you say for a week." James said and looked over at Sirius who nodded his agreement.  
  
Remus' smile widened. "Ok, you've got a deal."  
  
Sirius and James beamed.  
  
"The spell is-"  
  
~~~  
  
Thursday, November 25th 6:43 pm. The Great Hall.  
  
"Are you ready?" Sirius stage whispered to James. James nodded and they waited.  
  
6:46 pm.  
  
The doors of the great hall opened. and the greasy haired prat came in, his head down and looking as if he was trying to blend into the wall. oh he'd do anything BUT THAT in a mere four seconds.  
  
"CINDAREPSTILLIA!" James and Sirius hollered and a pink cloud emitted from Snape's head.  
  
When the smoke cleared he was in a huge, fluffy pink wedding gown, bridal veil in all! Confetti was sprinkling itself around Snape and huge bows were in his hair. Pink rosettes were spread across the dress, making it not only 'loud' but 'hideous'.  
  
The whole hall was a sea of seemingly endless laughter and James snapped a picture.  
  
Snape tried to move but was rooted to the floor, by a clever charm courtesy of Sirius Black.  
  
The teachers were unsure of what to do, it wasn't as if the boy was in any REAL danger, of course they weren't considering the poor boy's sanity and his ever-growing detestation of James Potter.  
  
Even enough was enough, Severus Snape was restored to his ordinary clothes and mortified he'd run off back to his common room.  
  
Sirius and James were both given a week's detentions, but in their eyes, it was all worth it.  
  
~~~  
  
In class the next day, James received a failing mark for his essay but on the bright side, James had a huge fluffy dress in mind, in case he might wanna cheer himself up. oh let's say. on Lucius. 


	5. 'Nice'

CHAPTER FIVE: Slavery (*)  
  
~~~~~~~~I Solemnly Swear I'll Have The Next Chapter Up As Soon As I Hit... Over 20 Reviews?~~~~~~~~~ SO REVIEW!!  
  
"The worst he'd do is make us carry his books." James mimicked Sirius in a high-pitched finicky voice.  
  
Sirius scowled at him. Remus had taken full advantage of Sirius and James' debt to him; they had to clean the whole dorm every day for the rest of the week... without magic!  
  
"This is so cruel!" James cried, finished polishing the headboards and starting on the dusting.  
  
"How was I supposed to know?" Sirius muttered and kicked a garment under Peter's bed.  
  
"Now, now, I said 'clean' not half-asked tidying." Remus was standing in the doorway.  
  
James glared at him, "You're only doing this out of pure spite!"  
  
Remus shook his head, "Actually I just want our dorm to be clean once in a while. You both seem to have a problem in that area."  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. Who has time for mild tidying? There are things to do! People to prank!"  
  
Remus watched with an amused expression as the two pranksters finished the dorm and made the rest of the beds.  
  
"If anyone messes this place up, I'm going to kill them!" Sirius muttered and put a dirty rag in the garbage.  
  
"You missed a spot." Remus said and dropped a paper on the floor.  
  
Sirius glared at him; that had been what he had done to Remus about a week before.  
  
"You drive a hard bargain, Lupin." James muttered and took a seat on the edge of his bed.  
  
~*~  
  
That night at supper.  
  
Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter were talking animatedly about nothing in particular.  
  
They were about halfway through when it happened...  
  
Severus Snape entered the great hall, late like always.  
  
"Hey," James whispered to Sirius. "Look who it is."  
  
"Great," Sirius grinned, "How 'bout we make it dinner and a show?"  
  
James was about to reply when Remus cut in.  
  
"Oh, about that," Remus said without really looking up from his plate. "No more."  
  
Sirius and James exchanged glances, "What?"  
  
"No more pranks."  
  
Their eyes widened, "WHAT?"  
  
"You are in a week's debt to me and I say no pranking for the week."  
  
James looked as though someone had told him his favorite aunt had just died, Sirius looked like he had been told he was about to be kissed by a Dementor.  
  
"You... you can't—"James said meekly, he was in shock.  
  
"I can, so no hurting or endangering others, illegal charming, or dishonest conduct. I want you to be nice to everyone."  
  
They sat in stunned silence.  
  
Someone from the Slytherin table sent a spoonful of mashed potatoes and it nearly hit Sirius's head.  
  
"Remus!" James tried, "If we don't do something they win!"  
  
"Yeah!" Sirius agreed. "Do you want the enemy to win?"  
  
Remus gave them both a definite look and continued eating.  
  
"What do we do?" James whispered to Sirius.  
  
Sirius was staring incredulous at Remus, "I don't know—"  
  
The next Slytherin spoonful hit the back of James's head.  
  
"Remus.... PLEASE...." James said, he was clenching his wand hand into a tight fist, trying to resist the calling of revenge.  
  
"One week James," Remus said. "Then you can go back to whatever you like."  
  
The rest of dinner was a trying affair.  
  
~(!)~  
  
"I can't believe he's doing this to us." Sirius said and ran a hand through his hair.  
  
James and Sirius were in the dorms, they didn't know where Remus and Peter were but they found it a good time to confide in one another.  
  
"Maybe there's a way around this." James said pacing back and forth.  
  
"How?" Sirius inquired.  
  
"Um... think about what he 'didn't' forbid us to do," James said. "He didn't say we couldn't use my cloak."  
  
"He didn't say we couldn't charm the hallways to make you think you're walking through a flubberworm's belly."  
  
"Yeah! That wouldn't be hurting or endangering anyone in particular!"  
  
Sirius grinned, "Well what does he EXPECT us to do instead of pranking?"  
  
"How about homework?" Remus had entered the room and heard the last bit of the conversation. "And by 'illegal charms', I meant against school rules too."  
  
Sirius and James shared a dismal look.  
  
Remus went to his trunk and took something out. He was about to leave when he stopped and turned, "Oh, and before I forget, James, the cloak."  
  
James looked about ready to cry.  
  
"But Remus—"  
  
"Cloak. Now."  
  
With many whimpers James VERY reluctantly gave him the cloak.  
  
"Evil, that's what you are, pure evil."  
  
Remus thanked him for the cloak and left.  
  
James collapsed in his bed in a fit of agony as Sirius looked on in quiet horror.  
  
"We've created a monster."  
  
~ (!) ~  
  
The next day at breakfast, Sirius and James didn't say a word. They still hadn't gotten over the shock of Remus's unreasonable conditions.  
  
While walking through the corridors to Transfiguration, Sirius and James were still in depression when a drawling voice behind them said, "Ever heard of conditioner, Potter? You should try some, it might make that rat's nest you call hair a little less repulsive."  
  
James twirled around ready to fight but Sirius put a hand on his should and motioned with his eyes towards Remus.  
  
James gave an angry sigh and continued walking.  
  
"What? No witty comebacks today?" Lucius asked.  
  
"Go away Malfoy, I can't fight you." James muttered and the Gryffindors turned the next corner and headed toward their class.  
  
Leaving the Slytherins wondering that the heck just happened.  
  
~ (!) ~  
  
"This is getting to be too much!" Sirius complained as he lay on his bed after classes.  
  
Remus and Peter had gone down to dinner and James and Sirius had decided to skip it, they had had enough of being taunted and not being about to do anything about it.  
  
Somehow they had gotten word of Black and Potter's predicament and had been taunting them ever since.  
  
It was save to say that both boys had never been so frustrated in their lives.  
  
"I'm about to explode!" James cried back from his spot on his own bed. "I had to stand there and take all that crap those goddamned Slytherins were yelling at me. I swear, as soon as this week is over--"  
  
"You think that's bad?" Sirius challenged. "McGonagall was standing in the EXACT spot I hid those trigger dung bombs. I missed the PERFECT opportunity!"  
  
"I couldn't lie in DADA about my homework because of that stupid 'honesty' stuff!"  
  
"I had to fess up to last month's fairy-dust extravaganza!"  
  
"I've had enough of this," James said sitting up to face his companion in misery. "We have to do something."  
  
"What?" Sirius asked sitting up too, he looked solemn.  
  
"Remus said to 'be nice' right?" James said with that glint in his eye.  
  
"Yeah?" Sirius urged him on.  
  
"So," James replied with a mischievous grin. "Let's be nice."  
  
~ (!) ~  
  
The next day's breakfast was faring well as Sirius Black and James Potter made their way to their table in the middle of the hustle and bustle.  
  
People were quite used to the idea that James and Sirius had taken to skipping most meals and just raiding the kitchens (Without the cloak, mind you, Remus never forbade them from the kitchens) or eating before or after everyone else.  
  
So they were back, were they? They still had two days to go.  
  
"Hey Potter! You'll never make the Quidditch team next year!" A random Slytherin yelled.  
  
"Hello!" James yelled back. "Nice day isn't it! You're looking sharp today!"  
  
Sirius and James sat opposite of Remus and Peter with big smiles on their faces.  
  
Remus looked up at them but said nothing. They hadn't broken any of his conditions.  
  
"Black! You look like a girl!"  
  
"You're pretty too!" Sirius called back.  
  
Remus looked at them but they gave him innocent smiled, "Not breaking any rules from our agreement." James said.  
  
Remus nodded and they all went back to eating.  
  
~ (!) ~  
  
In DADA James and Sirius paid extra attention to the lesson and answered all the questions. Then when the teacher left for a moment they sat there in perfect obedience.  
  
Lucius approached them but before he could taunt them or say anything,  
  
"You have such shiny hair," James said with a big smile on his face. "It really suits you, doesn't it Sirius?"  
  
"Oh absolutely, I couldn't see him in any other. And those robes," Sirius said smiling too. "Accents the eyes."  
  
"Oh yes, perfectly. And such nice condition, those robes."  
  
"Very nice indeed."  
  
"And shiny teeth!"  
  
"Very shiny! You must floss very well!"  
  
"Your shoes are shiny too!"  
  
"You're so shiny!"  
  
As the teacher returned, Lucius hurried back to his desk, horrified.  
  
~ (!) ~  
  
"Did you see his face?" James laughed.  
  
James and Sirius were in the common room during break.  
  
"A really, really 'shiny' face." Sirius said and both boys were in fits of laughter.  
  
Then Remus came down from the dorms and both boys snapped to attention.  
  
"You're looking good today, Remus." James grinned.  
  
"Very good," Sirius agreed. "And smart!"  
  
"Yes, oh so smart!"  
  
"Don't forget stylish!"  
  
"Oh never, we can't forget stylish."  
  
"Alright, enough of that." Remus said with a frown.  
  
"Enough of what?" James asked.  
  
"We were being nice." Sirius added.  
  
"Well it's annoying." Remus said.  
  
"You can't go back on our agreement." James said with a frown.  
  
"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "No changing things now."  
  
Remus looked a little alarmed. "You mean you're going to be nice until Friday?"  
  
"Saturday, actually." Sirius grinned.  
  
"That's right, you're so cute Remmy!" James cooed and batted his eyelashes.  
  
Remus looked spooked and quickly left the common room.  
  
The other two peeled with laughter.  
  
~ (!) ~  
  
Friday came and people had began to beg Remus to let Black and Potter out of that ridiculous agreement so they could stop being so creepy.  
  
"You're so funny!" "You're so pretty!" "I wish I was you!" "I wish I was your friend!" "I hope your next class goes well!" "Have a good day!" "Can I carry your books?" "Can I hold you hand?"  
  
"ARGH! They're driving me CRAZY!" Lily Evans shrieked as she ran away from them and up to her dorm.  
  
James and Sirius entered the common room soon after.  
  
Remus was still looking at the place Lily had disappeared from.  
  
"Remus! Ol' Boy! Long time no see!" James cried upon seeing him.  
  
Remus sighed, "I really wish you wouldn't say that every time you see me."  
  
"Nonsense," Sirius said and clapped him on the back. "We were being nice."  
  
"I really wish you'd stop." Remus said.  
  
"Not until today is over." James said and then he and Sirius disappeared upstairs.  
  
Remus sighed, what had he done?  
  
~ (*) ~  
  
On Saturdays no one was ever up.  
  
"Hey! Up." Remus said and kicked Sirius's bed and then did the same to James's.  
  
"What'dya want us up for?" James asked sleepily, trying to adjust his eyes to the light and groping about for his glasses.  
  
"I got you something." Remus said and put a bag on the floor.  
  
Sirius and James both sat up straight, attention captured.  
  
"What is it?" Sirius asked excited.  
  
Remus sighed and looked at them both seriously.  
  
"This past week has been--- well--- unusual." Remus said slowly.  
  
Neither Sirius nor James spoke.  
  
"And well--- maybe I was a little out of bounds in asking you to be something you are obviously not."  
  
James and Sirius grinned at each other.  
  
"So," Remus said and kicked the bag a little. "in this bag are a bunch of things from the joke shop to make up for it."  
  
James looked as though he wanted to pounce on it but held back as Sirius replied, "How did you get that?"  
  
"I have ways," Remus said, "I'll give them to you as long as you promise to never be so creepily absurd again."  
  
"Oh don't worry about that," James said eyeing the joke bag eagerly. "My mouth feels dirty from saying all those nice things to those Slytherins."  
  
"Good." Remus looked relieved. "I see you both downstairs then." He said and left to go to breakfast.  
  
"So..." James said, picking through the bag. "What do you say we enter with a bang?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan." Sirius grinned enthusiastically.  
  
Let's just say, breakfast was anything but 'nice'. 


	6. Loony Moony

THE MARAUDERS #5 () Loony Moony ()

You all are such wonderful people! And as for your suggestions, I was going to do that anyway! Great minds think alike I suppose! v thanks all, you're awesome.

A/N: As for the nicknames, I know I want them right now sooooo bad! But they are only in their first year and they don't learn to transform until Year Five…(So the source tells me)  I was thinking of maybe skipping a head, because there's so many things I want that I can't do when they're little :p sooooo… whatever for now. ENJOY!

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my sister, Remmy, who claims to be a werewolf. She was the first to read this and laughed so hard that she was sent the out of the classroom in math. So this one is for you!

About this Chap: I thought that it would be oh so amusing to assume that Remus is a little less than sane during the full moon... grin

IMPORTANT!:  This hasn't happened before because in the past few months Remus had been leaving school three days early before the full moon, but because of all the school he missed he decided to only 'go away' the night of the full moon…

The night was young and homework wasn't done.

"Let's leave this for later and go get something to eat." James said and stood up from his spot on the floor.

"Yeah, I'm hungry." Sirius replied.

"We just ate an hour ago." Peter pointed out.

"So?" Sirius said. "Hunger can happen anytime. Besides, History of Magic is so dull."

Remus was about to reply when he noticed a round white orb in the night sky above.

He paled.

"What is the date?" He asked, unable to take his eyes off the glowing ball.

"Um, the 22nd, why?" Sirius replied.

Oh no! Remus thought to himself. I've completely forgotten about the full moon in two days! Well with all the excitement that his roommates provided, could you blame him for forgetting?

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, noticing the expression on Remus' face.

Remus blinked when he realized that he was being addressed.

"Uh... nothing, I was just... wondering..."

"Hey!" James piped up. "The full moon is in two days!" A strange, dark expression over came James' features; he widened his eyes, and made a weird face. "That's when all the weird stuff happens."

Peter gave a small 'meep!' They hadn't even noticed when he had arrived.

Sirius laughed and smacked James on the back, "It's when the weirdoes come out, like you!"

James punched him in the arm. "And you!"

Remus wasn't feeling too well and left the room.

"What's wrong with him?" James asked, rubbing the spot on his arm where Sirius had punched him back.

"I don't know." Sirius replied, with all honesty.

"Oh that's not cheating at all." Sirius muttered as he looked over James' homework, on which said Potter had taken up three inches with just his name.

"It's not cheating, she said six inches... and I wrote six inches."

"You know, it shouldn't have been that hard to come up with six inches of ingredients that are most often used in potions," Sirius said, crossing out several words that made no sense what so ever. "Hey, Snapesagit? That's not even a word."

"Well no matter, I got it done in record time, did I not?" James grinned and flipped through a heavy textbook about Herbs.

"Five minutes, I suppose that's pretty good," Sirius replied, handing him back his parchment. "But now you have to re-write it because you're two inches short."

James groaned and buried his head in his pillow. "Couldn't you just pretend it was right and made sense?"

Sirius was about to reply when the portrait hole to the Gryffindor Common Room opened and Remus dashed through and up to the dorms.

James and Sirius shared a glance. Well that was just totally unexpected.

"Should we go check on him?" James asked.

They slowly made their way up the dorm stairs to their room…

They could hear thumps and bumps coming from inside the room… they slowly opened the door.

Remus was on Sirius bed, dancing with James' broomstick.

"What are you doing?" James asked, this was very unlike their friend.

"Hosting a ball of course!" Remus replied and continued dancing with the inanimate object.

Both boys in the doorway raised their eyebrows, what was wrong with Remus?

"Are you ok?" Sirius asked and took a step forward into the room.

Remus' eyes widened. He jumped off the bed and pointed the broomstick at Sirius. "Why do you come here uninvited? I demand you leave at once!"

Sirius blinked, was this some kind of a game?

"What are you on about?" Sirius asked, Remus was still jabbing him with the broom.

"Would you mind not touching my broomstick—" James was saying but had to duck because Remus swung it at him.

"What the hell are you doing?" James asked, jumping over the next swing.

"If you want a battle! It's a battle you'll get!" Remus cried thrusting towards James and forcing him out of the room.

"Whoa!" James cried, narrowly avoiding getting hit by the broom. "What is WRONG with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me! Dear Villain! I do believe YOU are in the wrong!"

James couldn't help a strangled laugh; something was just not right with this picture.

"Hey!" Sirius called, chasing them down the stairs to the slowly filling common room. "What are you doing?"

"Fear not damsel! I shall save you!" Remus cried and cuffed James on the arm.

"Ouch!" James cried back and ducked behind one of the overstuffed chairs.

"What are you DOING?" Lily Evans stood in the doorway of the stairs to the girl's dorms. Hands on hips and looking annoyed with the boy's poor display of behavior.

"Ack! The Red Monster! She rises!" Remus cried and ran back up the stairs to his own dorm.

Lily looked offended and angry stormed back up to her room.

"Sooo—" James said looking up at the ceiling and then over to Sirius. "Do you suppose anything's wrong with Lupin today?"

Sirius shrugged, "Nah, he's just a little over-tired."

James nodded, "Oh absolutely, of course he is…"

()

So, Remus had poked fourteen different people in the eye, mechanically laughed all through second and growled at everyone who spoke to him in third.

He multiplied himself and preformed 'CATS' (Muggle show) on the Gryffindor lunch table and ate enough chocolate to feed five hippogriffs for a week.

He'd bitten Sirius six times by the time lunch was over and wouldn't settle down in class until he was permitted to brush James's hair.

He lit his desk on fire and pulled Lucius Malfoy's hair then ran screaming down the corridor that the hair had started it.

In their last class, he'd charmed all the desks to fight one another and they still couldn't get Peter down from the ceiling…

Now, if they could only get him out of the lake where he had gone to 'befriend the giant squid', they could call it a day.

"Remus! Come on Remus! Get out of there you'll catch a cold!"

Sirius and James were standing on the edge of the lake trying to call their friend in. Peter had been sent to the Hospital Wing because he was still hovering and Sirius and James had to bring him there holding onto his ankles.

"Go get him!" James said to Sirius as Remus made his 67th lap.

"Are you nuts? It's getting dark, I'll freeze!"

"Yeah, it's going to rain. Remus'll get struck by lightning." James said nonchalantly then stood there in silence until Sirius muttered something nasty and reluctantly disrobed and dove in after the delusional other boy.

James watched as Sirius chased him for 16 laps until finally resorting to trickery in promising Remus chocolate.

They emerged soaking wet and despite Remus's insane grinning, was shivering and his lips have turned blue.

Both James and Sirius draped their robes over Remus and keeping firm holds on both his arms, walked him back to Gryffindor Tower.

()

The next day, Remus slept the entire day away in his bed with the covers drawn up to his nose, looking sickly and pale.

There was a book on his bedside table that he spent the time not sleeping reading. It was entitled, 'Lycanthrope Symptoms'. He was on the chapter labeled, 'Before Moon Insanity'.

()

The day after that, Remus was gone.

"They've taken him!" Sirius cried. "He's going to be locked away at St. Mungo's and we'll never see him again!"

"Pull yourself together, Man!" James said and slapped Sirius's face.

Sirius pouted and sulked in a chair.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." James said from where he was standing by the fireplace.

"Yeah, remember what Dumbledore said?" Peter piped up. "That he was a little under the weather and should be back tomorrow."

"Yeah, he's been gone for a while before." James agreed and looked over at Sirius.

Sirius nodded and they all just stared at the fire until bed.

()

"You're back!" Sirius and James cried as they sat down near Remus at breakfast.

"Of course I am." Remus said and continued eating his jam and toast.

Peter, James, and Sirius gave each other a glance, "Are you feeling better?" James asked carefully, he was sure that Remus was about to attack him or something.

"Yes, thank you." Remus replied.

"That was… um… quite some stuff you pulled on Wednesday." Sirius said warily.

Was Remus sane today?

Remus's face reddened and he lowed her head to his food. "Um… I- I suppose… I wasn't entirely… _well_ that day…"

"I'll say!" James said. "You gave us a scare!"

"I'm sorry." Remus said and wouldn't look at them.

They were quiet for a moment and then James said, "So, how much detention did you get?"

Remus looked up, "Detention? Oh, no detention."

James looked as though someone had shoved a banana up his nose.

"NO DETENTION?"

Remus shook his head.

"If I did even one of those things you did I'd be already expelled!"

James was on his feet and wide-eyed.

"Well, I suppose… but… well… the teachers are all quite understanding…"

"Understanding?! My a---!" Sirius pulled James back down into his seat and clamped a hand over his mouth.

The teachers were all looking over at them from the teacher's table.

"It's insanity, I say." James pouted to himself.

"Yes exactly." Remus said and they looked strangely at him.

"How about you warn us next time you decide to fall off your rocker." Sirius said.

"Oh, well—um…" Remus said and pushed his food around his plate.

"Well if it isn't Loony Lupin." A voice sounded from behind and they turned to meet Lucius Malfoy and his posse.

"Let him alone, Malfoy." Sirius said and James glared menacingly.

Malfoy was about to say something but James said,  "Go grow some more hair why don't you? Go away or we'll sik Remus on you!"

"Really? Well I would hope that the next time, you'll have a leash on him."

Malfoy trotted away with his nose in the air and the 'marauders' glared him back to his table.

"Stupid pompous prat." Sirius muttered.

"Pass the milk." James said. "and the chocolate."

Remus's head shot up. "Chocolate?"

James grinned, "No, just kidding."

Remus looked darkly at him.

Some things even the moon can't change.


End file.
